Sometimes, you cannot tell what is real or not. Sometimes you cannot even feel your own body. Nothing makes sense. To be or not to be? No…Am I or am I not? So is the poetic representation of dissociation…
Welcome to our page and we hope you learn a lot about how dissociation is a real phenomenon that many must live with in creative unique ways.
I hope to find healing by telling my story, from all parts’ points-of-view, so we can all feel safe and accepted. I hope to get the world paying attention and seeing the signs of children who have suffered trauma and abuse more easily. To see children are not “just pretending” and are not having an attention or focus problem. The earlier you catch this disorder, the easier it is to get all parts in a developed dissociative system to work together, possibly even form one unified external identity.
It’s not all sad, living with dissociation, as everyone dissociates at some point in their life. This Dissociative Identity Disorder, or any other disorder with dissociation, is just dissociation at an extreme level. It’s just something you accept and become accustomed to, and you learn to plan your life around it while you work on controlling it. All the while you do your best to not judge yourself.
Yes, there are some fascinating and awesome occurrences because this IS indeed a *creative* survival technique the brain has. This, however, does not mean it is entertaining and purely for amusement to live this lifestyle. Real dissociative disorders are not escapes from responsibility nor attempts to recreate oneself to make up for a life lacking excitement. It is simply normal brain processes that developed with walls between, separating memories into compartments. The reasons this happens are many, but it mostly is some interference with the early developmental stages of childhood.
What are we but the sum of our memories and experiences? What if experiences are not remembered? That is how each identity, with their different set of memories, develops with their OWN different personality, and they are not just a part of a single personality. Each part, each identity, is real, not a figment of imagination or child’s play or hallucinations or delusions. None of that. Each one has real memories of things actually experienced when they were fronting executive control of the body. They are as real as the history of their time line is. Treat them as real people who need help filling in the blanks and making sense of their time line and perceptions.
Some of us learn to break down the walls of dissociation, but the identities never cease to exist. It’s like asking anyone to suddenly stop being who they are and completely become a new person. It just doesn’t happen. Everyone up to date on life history and being co-conscious is key to healing blocks in memory. Sometimes sharing memories changes identities and they become like one flowing identity because of how this shared knowledge at times creates the same shared outcome.
My story isn’t just mine. I wish to be a voice for many. I may even discuss things I learn about others with my disorder and their healing. In the end I hope you will see, the use of one name is a personal choice and not a representation of one’s healing. You will also find there are some who can heal themselves without the assistance of continuous therapy. Lastly, you will discover just how well we are at surviving and blending in. So that maybe, JUST MAYBE, unbeknownst to you, you already interacted with a “multiple” or “multi-person” yourself.
Please read “About Dissociative Jess” before reading any posts so to know why we write.