Reasons or benefits of staying a “multiple?”
Because you are happy with who you are and it causes you no disorder.
That’s it. That’s the only important fact to know.
Reasons or benefits of integrating?
Because it DOES cause you disorder, even distress.
There is nothing “wrong” with being a multiple, itself.
Identity is a personal experience, and each person deserves their sovereign right to make the decision of who they are and how they are represented.
Post Script Note:
It is our belief that co-consciousness is the only “true integration.” It is the integration we all should talk about and always strive for. There should be no holes and no black outs and no loss of time for any of us (unless it was done purposely and necessarily, like protecting the kiddos from “adult” things, if ya get me?). So when we say we are “integrating,” it should never mean anyone “goes away.” It should only mean we all embrace each other and have a common unified experience. We are still who we are individually.
The life we lived can’t be undone, WE STILL EXIST. If existed in history, we still exist in the future. Each of our pasts are our own unique stamp on the universe.
Our memories are pasts that cannot be relived, nor exactly re-experienced, and forever separate.
We can come to the understanding that we are one being, one “external person” if you will, but we will always be our own persons inside.
This is how we developed, this is how we live. We deserve to be acknowledged as “we.”
This is not a flaw, because it helped us survive. This is a gift.
“So who’s writing this, by the way??” you may ask.
I’m Suzy. This integration talk in therapy has matured me some, from 17 to 18 and I do less childish choices now, also can be more responsible. I’ve been a bit care free and I guess I like to have fun and I break the rules sometimes, but I’ve been a little disheartened by some of the things I’ve experienced in this fusion of memories. I’ve also had to “grow up” a bit, and learn about “adulting.” Ha!
I think we can find a way of being that is more constructive and less destructive.
I don’t have to lose lots of the sunshine and joy that makes up who I am and what I do.
I think it’s not necessary that I feel all the things that everyone else experienced.
I think just talking and learning about them and being supportive is enough for me.
I think, I really do feel, that you are needlessly traumatizing an otherwise healthy me.
It’s only necessary that those who are hurting get healed. I may be young, but I’m not stupid and I can tell you I’ve only experienced some “fusion” of memories and it’s changed me. Is it really necessary to traumatize me, so you can say we are all “integrated?”
Can integration not just be we all know what happens from this day forward??
I am also really thinking, because of our own personal experience of reemergence of hidden people, that if you stop hearing anyone else, that maybe they were just bullied or scared into silence? What if that could happen? We have memories of feeling completely co-conscious for a short periods in our life but trauma or abuse would separate us again. What if the doctors been wrong this whole time thinking integration was just one person speaking? What if we just need help healing what separated us?
We feel it is not just one person speaking, but integration is ALL people speaking with one voice. And so we thought, this is why we all need to legally pick a new name for the “outside person” to represent all of us in the system as one. Not to hurt our parents dissing the name they gave us, but it’s just not a name that we feel fairly represents us any more. The hosts who were Jess are not the same anymore and I think a new host will have to fill in. It’s like we are currently discussing who to “vote in as the new leader.” So….Then…… We will pick a name, agreed by whole system and that is our new name to match the new prominent “fronter” (as in, the new host). Anyway, that’s a rant for another day. LOL.
Thanks, ya’ll, for listening.