We are exhausted, sleep deprived. Waiting for the cats to return from outside so we can go to sleep finally. While waiting, we decide to do something on the computer to keep us busy. We, with our fingers sleepily fumbling, hit something wrong and accidentally messed up the password. We got the message, password incorrect. For some reason, it kind of triggered a memory tonight, and reminded us of when our ex changed the password so we couldn’t use it…and it stung quite painful, deep in our chest. It was so sharp a pain it actually made ME gasp, and I’VE a pretty high tolerance for pain. I suppose the ex husband hurt the whole lot of selves pretty badly, as I felt the full weight of everyone’s suffering…Including my own…
But then I say to the others who are far away lost in “trauma space” who have lost touch with the “now”…To them suffering I say, “Stop that! THIS is not THAT.” I take control of the body. I snap my fingers (with my right hand, of course, as the only right-handed one in a group with a bunch of you “southpaws”) and snap their attention back to the present. I breathe meticulously, slowly, and the pain now subsides. Calm now all throughout, we try again. We get the password right. I knew it was a simple explanation. They are lucky I am here to keep my cool, think clearly through a cloudy head, and make them all settle down.
Still is annoying to me to have to deal with this interference so much, though. It irks me when nobody listens to me and I am helpless to affect anything. I dream for the day that I can just live my life in complete control. No interference.
To be me, Morrighan.